


The Pomegranate's Answers

by Moonluster



Series: Transcendence [4]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: I’m so sorry, Seto is on the level of dramatic as the potato chip meme, Stream of Consciousness, but it needed to be done for my own sake as a writer, it’s not crucial to the story I promise, please don’t read it if it bores you, this is an internal think-piece for Seto, ‘I’ll take this pomegranate...and EAT it’
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24782944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonluster/pseuds/Moonluster
Summary: Rating for suicide mention and language. It’s late at night and Seto is desperately searching for the answers to the questions he’s been presented with. Everything he knows or thought he knew is being challenged, or were lies. What’s the truth? What does he want to know? Will he find it in the fruit that Atem gifted him? Only his stomach and heart will tell.
Series: Transcendence [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684291
Kudos: 10





	The Pomegranate's Answers

**Author's Note:**

> If reading description and introspection bore you, feel free to skip this and move on to the next piece. It’s not a crucial piece in understanding anything either before or after this piece, but if you stick around, please enjoy it! A lot of effort and thought went into this.

It was 10:00 in the evening, exactly.

That’s when the alarm on my watch went off, notifying me that it was time to prepare for bed, but what was I doing? Staring at the pink-skinned fruit--also known as a pomegranate--that Atem gifted me, which, to my surprise, made it through the dimensions in the palm of my hand. A new development, and one to consider for future reference. 

However, the reason why I was staring at the fruit, fingers crossed and resting over my chin, was because I finally had some time to think; to consider all of the things that’d been said to me over the past week or so. I was so deep into my thoughts that I forgot that I was sitting at my desk in my office back at the Kaiba residence, the pomegranate and everything else fading from view as if I’d stopped registering all outside stimuli. 

The first thought that came to me was the encounter in which Atem insisted on a return to my world. 

...

" _You have people waiting for you back in the other life! What about Mokuba? Your company?”_ I remembered feeling how outraged that he'd been with me...never had I received such ire since I’d been adopted all those years ago. 

_“You can’t ignore your responsibilities, Kaiba! You’re an important figure to many people, you can’t just leave them, the same way I cannot leave my duty to my people, even in the afterlife!”..._

_“No. If you respect me as your rival, as your friend--which is what_ **_I_ ** _consider us--you WILL go back. If you don’t, I won’t allow you in again. My guards are always ready and able to throw any intruder out.”..._

...

If there was anything I hated, it was admitting that other people were right. He’d been angry at me for my lack of care for the potential consequences of my actions. Yet, if he hadn’t spoken the truth about the matter, I may have never seen Mokuba again. I never would have been able to apologize or realize how wrong and reckless I’d been. I would’ve left my brother to the same fate I’d resigned to, but this time...alone. 

I _had_ been alone, in a sense, during my upbringing, but at least I had Mokuba to remind me that there was someone in my life who really cared about me and didn’t want anything from me. 

I would’ve _killed myself_ in my hubris, just to prove some sort of point to myself. 

_Danger is what makes me feel alive, that I’m not just a sentient existence inside of a prison of flesh. Yet, if that danger causes me to abandon my responsibilities, then it’s just another useless thing I don’t need._

  
  


Moving on from that set of memories, I remembered what Mokuba said right after that encounter--which, between my time with Atem and that emotional moment, was admittedly more than I could handle.

...

_“You’ve been so careful up until now...doing everything with purpose, with a plan in mind before you even step forward.”..._

_“But lately...ever since you found out that the other Yuugi went away, you’ve been...reckless. Like you don’t care about anything but your goals.”..._

The guilt I’d felt welling in my being returned like a sledgehammer, but I did my best to set it aside as I revisited the memories. 

_“I can’t imagine living without you, and_ **_I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore_ ** _!”_

_As if I could make you understand how much it hurt_ me _to exist in this state..._

_“I just want you to be happy again, Bro. It’s been hard to watch you just--_ **self-destruct** _like this, again. I want you to be like you used to be...carefree and_ **always smiling** _.”_

_Is that even possible? Can I truly be happy like I was back then? Had I ever been...?_

I suppose, if I thought really hard and reached back to visit that period of time in my memories, I might be able to figure out how to access that part of myself again.

_But...that child, my past self...he had no idea what he would have to go through to get to his goals, how much he would have to sacrifice in order to succeed at every endeavor._

...

Something akin to shame rose within me, and realizing that my mind was pulling away from itself, I steadied myself with a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, glancing about my surroundings. Suddenly, it had become too bright, and I brought a hand to my eyes in order to stop the pain of the light that slashed my vision. I took a few moments and deep breaths to ground myself before I took the next step in my memories. 

_But, before that..._

I rose from my seat and stretched my arms, legs, and rolled my shoulders, various pops and cracks happening in the different parts of my body as I did so. 

_Time to check on Mokuba._

It was somewhat of a nightly ritual that I've maintained for the past few years, something that _also_ arisen out of remorse for my past actions--but that time, it’d been due to my neglect of Mokuba, the only true family member I had left in this world. I usually did this activity when he was asleep or close to it, because I didn’t want to answer questions. I just wanted to do my part to feel like his brother.

Recent events only strengthened my resolve to maintain the ritual; seeing how exhausted Mokuba was due to my carelessness and selfishness. 

Before entering, I cracked the door open quietly, to gauge if he was asleep or not. If he wasn’t, I would come back later. It seemed he wasn’t even close to falling asleep since he was playing some kind of game on a handheld. 

_Later, then_. I resolved and returned to my office. 

When I re-entered the room, the pomegranate that rested on my desk stuck out like a sore thumb which drew my eyes to it, as if by some sort of--dare I say it-- _supernatural_ force. 

_What is with this thing? Is it because it came from the afterlife?_ I returned to my seat, swerving myself around to face it, assuming my previous position and glared at it.

Now that I was on the topic, my thoughts turned to my last encounter with Atem yesterday, fresher in my mind than the previous memories.

...

I recollected the flame in his eyes, the anguish and frustration in his tone when he asked me; _“Why are you so resistant to my attempts to make you realize that we can be more than what you think? I have the time, and I’m spending it with_ **_you_ ** _, because, believe it or not,_ **you actually matter a lot to me** _, Kaiba!”_

_Do I_ **_really_ ** _matter to you? Why were_ you _‘so resistant’ to my attempts to call you?_

He hadn’t even bothered to appear to _me_ when _I_ was the one who retrieved the puzzle and tried to bring him back into this dimension. Instead, he appeared only to Yuugi. 

It was **unfair.** Why did Yuugi get to have an audience with him and I didn’t? Why did I have to be the one who launched myself into the dimension just to _speak_ with him? 

_Did you even care about what we built up together?_

I had thought about this previously, but less in-depth. Yet, the result was the same; the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. 

Shoving all of those confusing and painful thoughts aside, I pressed forward. 

_“Look,_ **_I’m sorry_ ** _about that...I was so caught up in what I had to do that_ **_I didn’t give any thought to anything else_ ** _, and obviously, it was wrong. Seeing that I hurt one of the people who didn’t see me as anything but me.”_

_You’d_ **_better_ ** _be fucking sorry_ , was my first thought in response to his apology, back then and in my recollection. That aside, it was the second time he apologized. My instinct was not to believe what he said, despite how genuinely seemed to mean it. However, for some reason, I couldn’t find myself staying angry when he looked so deeply into my eyes, as if begging me to accept his feelings. As I recalled this, an epiphany fell upon me: _...Perhaps he isn’t the only one with guilt weighing on him..._

My second to last memory was something I couldn’t seem to get out of my head. His expression I remembered nearly distinctly; his soured, hardened expression, with his nose crinkled, eyes narrowed, as if scrutinizing me: “ _I feel..._ **disgusted** _, hearing you say it like that. What I see is, us_ **sharing our feelings** _, our desires, our needs and wants from one another._ **It’s not giving and taking, or ‘transactional’, as you call it.** _"_

I couldn’t shake the way he’d said it. There was disappointment and pain in his words as if he’d been stung by mine. I just didn’t understand why. _Aren’t most relationships made up of such?_ _Everyone gives and takes._

Besides that, what _was_ friendship? What _made_ a friendship? Is it what Yuugi and his group did, where you all share a common interest and do everything together? _That has to be obnoxious..._

_Wait. There’s something to that. What had Atem said about us?_

_“...it just occurred to me that we really don’t know that much about each other outside of our_ **common interest** _in games.”_

There it was. **‘Common interest’** . **_Common. Interest._ **

Yuugi and his friend group had a _common interest_ in games, just like Atem and I had a **_common interest_ ** in such as well. 

Was that all there was to it? **_Common interests_ ** and... _spending time together_ ? Like we did the last time we met? Like we have, and had done during our duels? Was that what defines a _friendship_?

The realization dawned on me, although it seemed rather obvious in hindsight. Was my definition of rivalry really any different than friendship? Or was it possible for both to exist in the same space?

I hadn’t decided, and I certainly wouldn’t tonight.

...

As I eyed the pomegranate, I remembered that Atem had given it to me specifically to ‘think about what he said’...

An impromptu rush of determination filled me and I snatched the fruit off of the desk. Once more I vacated my office, glancing down at the shining, pink-skinned fruit every so often as I made my way to the kitchen. Perhaps I was crazed, but I thought I saw it glowing every once in a bit. 

_Have I finally lost my damn mind?_

Once I made my way to our clean, hardly used kitchen, I haphazardly placed the haunting fruit on a cutting board I’d found after a bit of struggle to locate one. I retrieved a knife, one that was rather thick and I was unsure if it was meant for the function I was going to use it for. Its handle was silky in my grip, making a sharp ‘shing’ sound against the block that sheathed it, that resonated within the space. I glanced at the reflection in the blade, catching a glimpse of my own wild eyes. Quickly, I brought it to my attention back to the fruit. 

I stared at it as if it would shatter under the command of my glare, and uttered aloud, “This pomegranate...it’s taunting me. Maybe Atem knows something I don’t. If I eat this, I’ll find the answers I’m looking for because right now, I don’t know _what_ to think or believe anymore.

“Everything I’ve ever _thought,_ was ever _taught_ , everything I’ve ever _known_ to be true...has been challenged, or was a lie. I want to know the truth, and if this stupid, out-of-season fruit will give me the answers I’m looking for, then I’ll gladly eat it!” 

Determination fueling my blood, and my will, I clasped the knife in my grip and carefully placed it over the fruit, gently pushing on it’s leather-like skin; one hand on the handle, the other over the dull side of the blade. I noted how perfect and untouched it was and realized that I was about to mutilate it with my selfish desire to seek abstract, seemingly inaccessible knowledge. 

_So be it! The same has been done to me, so I will do the same to_ **_it_ **! 

Gritting my teeth, a sound I barely recognized was my own burst from within me--a war cry of desperation--as I used all my bodily force to slam the blade through the fruit. 

It came open with a splatter and a cracking sound that resonated in my ears. The blade sent red juice flying all over the cutting board (which I nearly mistook for blood), across my hands, the counter, the sleeves and hem of my prized black turtleneck, and, once the adrenaline rush subsided, my face was also splattered with its liquids. I’d tainted it, and now I would have to take advantage of it. 

_How disgusting and beautiful it is..._

The red, succulent seeds spilled out, reflecting against the light of the kitchen, tantalizing, perfect, _exposed_ , in the mess I’d made out of the shell. Remembering how Atem had eaten the seeds, I decided to have a little more dignity--and to avoid staining my clothes more than they would likely already be--I grabbed a spoon to scoop them out.

Once they touched my tongue, my palate was mmediately met with an explosion of sourness and sweetness, with a tart aftertaste that resembled cherries. The texture was crunchy, yet, for lack of a better term, squishy. I half expected it to be bitter, but found, pleasantly, it was not. Deciding that I was enjoying this new decadence, I took one part of the fruit and began to consume it with some sense of delight. 

It wasn’t long before I emptied the entire fruit of its’ seedy contents, and my stomach twisted. I realized at that moment that I hadn’t even thought to eat anything when I came home earlier that evening. I was too preoccupied with reflecting on the days’, _weeks’_ , events.

I hadn’t even noticed Mokuba’s standing there just outside the entryway to the kitchen, and I flinched when I finally noticed his being there. 

“...you okay, Seto?” He inquired, his voice clearly filled with concern. 

I shook my head, clearing my throat as I searched the kitchen for something to clean up the mess, feeling the urge to lie to him. “I was just...having a small snack before bed.” 

It wasn’t a complete falsehood, but I didn’t want to divulge the whole reason why I was down here. 

There was a beat before he replied, “Okay then, well...I just came in to get some water and didn’t want to disturb you. You seemed kinda busy there.” Something in his voice suggested he was unconvinced, but he didn’t push the issue.

“Go ahead.” I nodded, leaning against the counter, trying my best to look like I wasn’t gauging his reactions the entire time. 

As if he needed **_my_ ** permission. 

Quietly, he made his way around me as the fog that had been shrouding my mind began to secede. I cleaned the cutting board, knife, and counter, discarded the remains of the pomegranate, and made a mental note to send the shirt I was wearing out with the rest of my laundry to the cleaners. 

With a glass of water in hand, Mokuba turned to me and grinned before exiting, “Sleep well, Bro. Don’t try to stain anymore of your clothes on the way up.” He added a sly wink at the end of his sentence before shuffling out and back to his room. 

“Hn.” I acknowledged, although feeling a light warmth touch my ears as I averted my eyes, finding an insignificant speck of dust on the tile. 

_Just like Atem, he seems to be able to read me like a book._ Was I truly _that_ transparent? 

_That’s annoying..._

As I made my way to my bedroom, I finalized my conclusion; From here on out, I had to accept things as they came, instead of trying to control the events and circumstances that were presented to me, or would be presented to me, in the future. 

_It will be difficult, and I can already see myself overrunning this notion in a vain attempt to save my pride...the only thing I have left that’s worth a damn._

There was one, final thing that dawned upon me, and for once it aligned with everything I believed in: 

_Change has to be worth it, or it wouldn’t be necessary._

I checked my wristwatch one more time. 11:30. 

_Time to rest._

I was to have, what I would expect to be an eventful visit with the Pharaoh of Egypt in several hours so that he would show me more of his wisdom, like what I'd found in that pomegranate.


End file.
